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December 17, 2009

Single Ladies Lament


I have betrother's guilt. It's like survivor's guilt but it strikes people who've partnered up and gotten hitched, leaving their equally deserving single friends with no one to spoon on frigid nights like these.

And it doesn't make sense. Why should I be blessed with a guy who turns me on and tolerates my considerable freakiness when so many of my hotter, younger, and far nicer friends are still solo-and-searching?

They tell me Santa Barbara is an especially tricky place to be single. It's hard to buy even the tiniest home on one income, and with students and retirees weighing down both ends of the population spectrum, the mid-range dating pool is small. "You don't really want your friend's sloppy seconds," adds a friend of mine, "which reduces your odds further."

The hunt seems to be harder for gals. I'm told our climate and seaside lifestyle leave lots of local fellas with a Peter Pan complex that doesn't look good on men over age 25. They're surfers or they're in a band. Or both.

"Did I tell you about the massage therapist who stood me up on a first date?" one of my girlfriends says. "He was playing beach volleyball and 'just lost all track of time and forgot.'"


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Comments


You described my life!!! Single in Santa Barbara. Grrr....

tides

Fri Dec 18, 2009


What's wrong with Coupon Guy? I think that's adorably quirky and admirably frugal. He did give her a choice, coupon pasta OR Happy Hour. If she doesn't like pasta, she should have opted for Happy Hour. Do you think a guy should have to spend $100 or more to get to know a woman a bit for a couple hours on a first date? That doesn't seem fair to me. (But maybe that's why your friend is single and I'm happily married.)
And another pointer: Match.com is for hook-ups, where people look at each other's photos and pick someone they'd like to hook up with for sex. (Sure, sometimes lasting relationships do arise out of Match.com pairings, but probably only slightly more often than they arise out of Discrete Encounters on Craigslist.) If you're looking for a relationship, try eHarmony.com. Everyone on eHarmony is looking for a long-term relationship, and eHarmony does a bit of screening to weed out those seeking hook-ups only, and the married-but-looking-anyway, and the mentally unstable. Everyone on eHarmony is there because they're looking for a partner for a committed relationship -- and you certainly can't say that about Match.com.

Not Single

Sat Dec 19, 2009


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